It's almost time for us to leave on our trip to meet our new little honey! We are so excited to finally see him after waiting so long for this point. So full of anticipation to see what he is like in person, not just on paper or in photo. To see him run around. To hear his voice. To hear him squeal and laugh. To play with him. To kiss his sweet little cheeks. To be in the same spot as him and breathe the same air.
We've made our flight reservations, made our hotel reservations, we've collected all the additional documents we need to bring with us, and we've made a list of questions to ask about our boy. We've read all the required books, and taken all the required training. We're just about all packed up, including the books and toys for our little guy to play with while we're there and the photo book of our family that we've made for him, and we've bought snacks for the flights.
We're just about set, except for one thing. The hardest thing we've still got to do. We've got to say goodbye to our sons here for the five days we are gone. I am not looking forward to that. AT. ALL.
It's not like we didn't know this was coming. We've known for nearly three years that this season would come. But now it is reality, and it is just going to be difficult, no question about it. They will be in wonderful hands, I am totally confident of that, and their day-to-day will be much the same, since school is now in session. In fact, they will probably have a total blast: going swimming, eating popcorn, and playing playing playing. And that helps me so much knowing that they will be well-taken-care-of.
But on the other hand, it is the beginning of the toughest season. Those who have adopted before or who are in process will be familiar with this. From the moment that we say goodbye to our boys here, until we are back home after our pickup trip with our baby boy (whenever that might be), our family will not be all together. I can already feel my heart being pulled in different directions, with these boys here, and my little one there. Then when Jerry and I are there meeting our baby, our other boys will be here. Then when we are back here, our little one will be there without us. And that will more than likely me more intensely difficult than it is even now, because we will just have met him, and will have experienced all that love for him right there in person for a quick little trip, and then we have to leave him, not knowing when we will be able to return. It's hard to think about. But then at some point in two or three months or so, we will hear word that we can take our final trip there (for four to six weeks) and fly back home with our new son. And after that, we will all be home, all together. All five of us. And that thought sustains me.
In my prayers lately, I have just been sitting at God's feet, and asking for his help getting the five of us through this season. And when I say "get through," I don't mean whining and moaning and "woe is me" getting through. I mean doing it with a joyful heart while in the middle of it with love for those around me. On my own, on our own, it is not possible to do this. I'm pretty tough, but this is not possible. With confidence in the grace of God though, and knowing with certainty that we are doing His will for our lives and our family, we can.
Can I please ask for your prayers for this season in our lives? And for prayers for those mothers who are forced to, or feel they are forced to, leave their children for a whole variety of circumstances? God has been growing my heart for these parents as well. I am fortunate. I know that our situation is temporary: we will be called back to pick him up, we just don't know when, and then we will be together. Many other parents have to be apart from their children, and do not have that relief. Please remember them in your prayers.