Sweet little boy,
Do you know today is your birthday? I am sad that we are not there with you. I can hardly believe we are not there. We had planned on being there, but we are not. I had really hoped we could have a nice birthday party with you today: cake and ice cream, presents, singing the birthday song, the whole bit. It just hurts that we are not there, but I am offering my suffering to God so that he can bring something beautiful out of it. I pray that God is whispering in your ear today how special you are and how much you are loved.
I love you so much,
Your mommy
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Still waiting
Has it seriously been almost three weeks since I last blogged?
I had assumed that the next time I got on here I would be able to say that we had received word to travel to sign our adoption decree. But, we haven't received word yet, and so we are still waiting.
It is not easy, this waiting thing, but I am sustained by God and am, for the most part, peaceful about our circumstances. I'm spending a lot of time in prayer and in meditating on Scripture. I know with everything that is in me that God brings all things to the good. I know with everything that is in me that God is in control. I know with everything in me that God is love. We're going through some real refining around here, and refining is not easy, but we know that God's hand is on it. Events take us by surprise, but they don't take Him by surprise. He knows what He is about. He sees the full picture. He is perfect. I don't know what all God is up to, but I do know that I trust Him.
If I sound like I am repetitive here, it is probably because I am. I am reminding myself of these facts, and have been doing so again and again. Even though I already know these things, I am at the same point learning them to a deeper degree. Through the experience of this prolonged wait until we can be reunited with our little son, God is drawing me closer to Himself, which is definitely where I want to be. Poor human that I am, it is not always an easy journey getting there, but I have to remember that most of the battle is coming from me. I have been grasping tightly to things that aren't God, and it has taken some effort to get my fingers loosened from the wrong things and to get them moved to God Himself and His perfect will.
I had assumed that the next time I got on here I would be able to say that we had received word to travel to sign our adoption decree. But, we haven't received word yet, and so we are still waiting.
It is not easy, this waiting thing, but I am sustained by God and am, for the most part, peaceful about our circumstances. I'm spending a lot of time in prayer and in meditating on Scripture. I know with everything that is in me that God brings all things to the good. I know with everything that is in me that God is in control. I know with everything in me that God is love. We're going through some real refining around here, and refining is not easy, but we know that God's hand is on it. Events take us by surprise, but they don't take Him by surprise. He knows what He is about. He sees the full picture. He is perfect. I don't know what all God is up to, but I do know that I trust Him.
If I sound like I am repetitive here, it is probably because I am. I am reminding myself of these facts, and have been doing so again and again. Even though I already know these things, I am at the same point learning them to a deeper degree. Through the experience of this prolonged wait until we can be reunited with our little son, God is drawing me closer to Himself, which is definitely where I want to be. Poor human that I am, it is not always an easy journey getting there, but I have to remember that most of the battle is coming from me. I have been grasping tightly to things that aren't God, and it has taken some effort to get my fingers loosened from the wrong things and to get them moved to God Himself and His perfect will.
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