Cleansing the Temple

Earlier today, I was listening to Mass on EWTN radio and had one of those strong experiences that the Mass readings were speaking directly to me.  It wasn't an obvious connection like it was a month ago with Romans 8 (our adoption by God) and Psalm 68 (God defending the orphan).  The first reading was from 1 Maccabees (the rededication of the Temple after the Maccabean revolt drove out the Greeks and their pagan gods), and the gospel reading was about Jesus driving out the money changers and cleansing the Temple.  1 Maccabees is so inspiring:  I love to hear the stories of the Jewish people of that time standing strong and facing death rather than breaking the Covenant.  Ninety year old Eleazar witnessing to the importance of not giving scandal, the widow facing the loss of her seven sons but encouraging them to follow God, her youngest son saying to the executioner, "What are you waiting for?!"  Mattathias and his sons leaving all their possessions and fleeing to the desert rather than abandoning their faith.  Then Judas Maccabeus and his brothers finally succeeding in driving out the Greeks, removing the statue of Zeus from the Temple, and purifying it.  Awesome stuff.

Then during the homily, I was most definitely inspired:  I am the temple of the Holy Spirit.  The same zeal with which the Jewish people drove out pagan practices from the Temple and purified it for right worship, the same zeal with which Jesus drove out commerce from the Temple so that it was a place of prayer, God wants to apply to me so that I am truly a temple of the Holy Spirit.  Ok, Lord, what are the idols you are trying to cleanse me of?

International adoption is most definitely difficult.  We started this adoption process over two years ago, and have been on the wait list for a year.  Affording the expenses was challenging, assembling the dossier was time-consuming, and waiting is the hardest of all.  Basically for an entire year, the process has been completely out of our control.  And we've been ok with that since we know that ultimately God is in charge, and He is going to bring about the exact perfect addition to our family.  There have been long stretches of time when it has been difficult to get information on what is happening because that is just how it is with international adoption sometimes, and we've accepted that too.  Ultimately, God is in charge, and He knows what is going on, even if we don't.  And there have been times when I've just plain been a little nervous that something is going to go wrong, like our dossier is going to be forgotten about and someone else is going to get the referral that should have been ours, or there will suddenly be a moratorium on international adoptions, or the rules will be changed and we will be ineligible to adopt, or who knows what else.  And then, "Fear not!"  I remember that God is most definitely in charge.  He is the One that inspired us to start this adoption, He is the One that is making it possible, He is the One that is sustaining us during the wait, and He is the One that is going to bring it to fulfillment in the most perfect way, whatever that will be.  God has taught me so much with this adoption.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that we are on the right path and that God is leading us.

So, what's left?  What idols are left to be driven out?  Cleanse me, Lord.

Siblings

Mario had a playdate the other day at the home of a friend from school.  When I picked him up, the mom mentioned to me how sweet and protective Mario was about his friend's younger brother and sister so that they didn't get into things that would hurt them or make them choke.  So cute!  Later I praised Mario for being concerned about the little ones, and he told me his great ideas about how to protect his new siblings from choking on his and Erik's legos and things (e.g., setting up baby gates, etc).  He and Erik were all excited to go out and get toys for #3 and 4 right that instant!  So precious!

I know realistically it is not always going to be smooth sailing when #3 and #4 come home, and that there will be an adjustment period for all of us as we find our way which won't be figured out overnight.  I know that there will be squabbles about who plays with what truck or that someone took apart some elaborate train track or someone knocked over someone else's block tower, but if those are our biggest problems, I will consider myself very fortunate.  Sometimes I get so excited about the fact that I will have another child or two, and then I have to remember that Mario and Erik are getting another sibling or two!  I love my own sisters like crazy, and how wonderful for them that they will have another one or two siblings for the rest of their lives.  It most likely won't be sterile around here, and it will certainly be louder, but there is most definitely room in all of our hearts to give and to receive more love.

We are all so looking forward to you!!!

Dreams

The other day, a dear friend of mine was so excited to tell me she had a dream about me: that I had called her and said, "We're number 10 on the wait list!"  Oh, what an awesome dream!!  I just had to check with our adoption agency, but learned that IHNFA's assignment committee has not met recently to make any referrals, so we are still at #15.  Bummer.

I still like dreams though.  Except of course that one when you are in school and you learn you have to sit for a final exam for a class you didn't know you had and are panicked because you haven't studied for it.  Or that one where you are trying to run because something is chasing you, but it is like your legs are cement and you can't move.

Maybe I should say I like daydreams, the ones where I think about how much I love my family and my friends and my God.  When I think about all the amazing blessings that I have received.  I am just so grateful for this life and all the opportunities that have come my way.  I am even grateful for this long wait that we are experiencing waiting for our referral because I know that God is doing some amazing work during this time.  And I have been able to do and be a part of some wonderful things that I wouldn't have had time to do if we had already received our referral and were either in Honduras or home with #3 (and I'm still hoping there will be a #4 too!).

And of course you know that I love to daydream about the day that we receive our referral and learn about our new little child (or children) and see the photos for the first time.  What will it be?  One child?  Two?  Boy?  Girl?  Boys?  Girls?  One of each?  Infant?  Toddler?  Preschooler?

I can remember every little detail of our referrals for Mario and Erik like they happened yesterday.  Hearing those amazing words with Mario's referral:  our son has been born.  How thrilling it was to call Jerry.  How indescribable it was to look at Mario's precious adorable sweet face in those photos.  How we just knew that this was our child.  And with Erik:  getting over the initial confusion that there really was a baby now, and really hearing that there was a sweet little boy and that he was ours and then looking at his wonderful little face.  And that feeling of love.  How I loved them even before I knew about them, before we received our referrals, but how that love increased exponentially upon learning about them and then even more when seeing them in person for the first time.  I would have fought tigers for them.  I would have gone to the end of the earth for them.  I still would.

I am so looking forward to you, my little ones.

His Little Feet Children's International Choir

How cool is this!  I was reading a blog written by a mom who is in process of adopting, and she mentioned His Little Feet Children's International Choir, which is a choir composed of fourteen children ages 6-12 from Honduras and Ethiopia that is traveling around the U.S. performing and raising awareness of vulnerable children worldwide.  This other mom is in process of adoping a child from Ethiopia and saw the choir in South Carolina I believe.  But they are going to be coming to the St. Louis area on December 11th and several other locations around the country.  Check it out!

Here's the link to the choir's website:

http://www.hislittlefeet.org/Tour_Schedule_December_2011.html

Ooo, I hope we will be able to see them!

Me gustaria leche

We celebrated Jerry's birthday at a local Mexican restaurant that we love:  El Indio.   The food is great, and they are always so sweet to Mario and Erik. I was very pleased that the boys wanted to order in Spanish, well the milk at least.  They have Spanish classes at school twice a week.  When they were very little, we took lots of mommy and me Spanish classes, and went to Spanish storytime at one of the public libraries, and periodically attended Mass in Spanish.  Plus we have a heap of kids books in Spanish and English and a variety of kids music CDs in Spanish.  I had hopes that we would speak a lot more Spanish around the house, but I've been lazy about that over the last year I think.  I'd really like to get better in Spanish, especially since our new hijitos could very well be older than infants and more verbal.

Here's my November resolution:  to practice Spanish every day, hopefully orally if there is someone around to speak with, or at least some reading and pretend conversations on my own.  Maybe I'll have dreams in Spanish again!

One Year on the Wait List

I thought that hitting the one year mark of being on IHNFA's wait list would be a difficult anniversary for me, but I'm feeling good, feeling positive, and am not feeling sad.  That is to say, I REALLY REALLY want to hear about our referral RIGHT AWAY, and I want our family all together AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, but I am feeling confident that God has this (and everything) under control, and I don't need to remind Him, and I don't need to give Him suggestions, and I don't need to stress on it.  He's got it.  And that is a really freeing feeling.  And I'm feeling joyful about it.  I can hardly believe I am typing this.  I am actually feeling the joy!  If I get that very special phone call today, I will be thrilled, completely and utterly estatic, and more than likely completely and utterly incoherent.  And if I don't get it, I will still be happy and peaceful and joyful.  I am thinking of that beautiful song, "It is Well In My Soul."

Besides, November is a very special time for our family.  On November 7, 2005, we got our pink slip for Mario's adoption, which meant that everything on his file was complete, and we could travel to Guatemala for his pick-up trip.  We almost didn't need a plane in order to fly there.  On November 14, 2005, we saw his beautiful face and cuddled with him for the very first time.  On November 18, 2005, we pulled into our driveway with him strapped in the carseat for the very first time and brought him home.  On November 27, 2005, Mario was baptized at our parish church surrounded by his family and friends.

Strangely, Erik has no anniversaries in November at all.  Back in 2006, we were waiting and waiting to hear that his file was out of PGN (which is the attorney general's office in Guatemala).  The PGN review for Erik was completed on December 4, 2006, after three months (!!!!), whereas Mario's had taken only five weeks.  Anyway, eventually it happened, and we were able to go get our wonderful Erik and bring him home.

And back in 2009, on November 9th to be exact, we mailed our part 1 application to Dillon for this most recent adoption.  Which means that we have had this one underway for two years now.  So indeed, November is a very meaningful month for us.

Happy National Adoption Month!