The other day, a dear friend of mine was so excited to tell me she had a dream about me: that I had called her and said, "We're number 10 on the wait list!" Oh, what an awesome dream!! I just had to check with our adoption agency, but learned that IHNFA's assignment committee has not met recently to make any referrals, so we are still at #15. Bummer.
I still like dreams though. Except of course that one when you are in school and you learn you have to sit for a final exam for a class you didn't know you had and are panicked because you haven't studied for it. Or that one where you are trying to run because something is chasing you, but it is like your legs are cement and you can't move.
Maybe I should say I like daydreams, the ones where I think about how much I love my family and my friends and my God. When I think about all the amazing blessings that I have received. I am just so grateful for this life and all the opportunities that have come my way. I am even grateful for this long wait that we are experiencing waiting for our referral because I know that God is doing some amazing work during this time. And I have been able to do and be a part of some wonderful things that I wouldn't have had time to do if we had already received our referral and were either in Honduras or home with #3 (and I'm still hoping there will be a #4 too!).
And of course you know that I love to daydream about the day that we receive our referral and learn about our new little child (or children) and see the photos for the first time. What will it be? One child? Two? Boy? Girl? Boys? Girls? One of each? Infant? Toddler? Preschooler?
I can remember every little detail of our referrals for Mario and Erik like they happened yesterday. Hearing those amazing words with Mario's referral: our son has been born. How thrilling it was to call Jerry. How indescribable it was to look at Mario's precious adorable sweet face in those photos. How we just knew that this was our child. And with Erik: getting over the initial confusion that there really was a baby now, and really hearing that there was a sweet little boy and that he was ours and then looking at his wonderful little face. And that feeling of love. How I loved them even before I knew about them, before we received our referrals, but how that love increased exponentially upon learning about them and then even more when seeing them in person for the first time. I would have fought tigers for them. I would have gone to the end of the earth for them. I still would.
I am so looking forward to you, my little ones.