"I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth
comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation
waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God; for the creation
was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of him who
subjected it in hope; because the creation itself will be set free from its
bondage to decay and obtain the glorious liberty of the children of God.
We know that the whole creation has been groaning with labor pains together
until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first
fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait for adoption as sons, the
redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope
that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we
hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."
You know those times when you are there in church and the readings are speaking to you, and well, it's nice that there are other people there to hear it, but that is was really just for you? Yesterday's reading was the previous section in Romans 8 about the Spirit of God, the spirit of adoption, the spirit of sonship, and being children of God and heirs of God, and fellow heirs of Christ, provided we suffer with him. And then we had the passage from Psalm 68, also in yesterday's readings: "The father of orphans and the defender of widows is God in his holy dwelling." So, I basically have had that feeling for two days straight that the readings were for me.
There is so much running through my mind about this that I hope I can be somewhat coherent. The road to adoption definitely has a lot of groaning involved. I have often said that international adoption is not for the faint of heart! Obviously there's all the paperwork and the cost and the waiting. There's also that angst knowing that the children that are going to join your family are suffering, and you want to do something about it right now. Not to mention all those other children that may never have their own family.
And yet, back to patience and trusting in God. Lately, the passage from the gospel "Lord, increase our faith," has really been on my mind. Like the apostles, I ask God to increase our faith. I have faith that it is all going to work out in the end, and that all this time up until our referral is not just waiting around twiddling my thumbs time, but is active growing and learning time. And I have faith that this growing and learning is happening not just in my life, but also in the lives of the rest of my family, our children in Honduras, their caretakers, their birth families, etc. Still, I ask God to lead us deeper where he wants us to be and to see those things that we still don't see and to just keep plugging ahead on this journey. All for His greater glory.
Because really, when you come down to it, life is not for the faint of heart.