Day 1: We arrive

I am typing this from the counter top of our wonderful apartment in the terrific Humuya Inn.  We made it and we have seen our son!

Let me back up until this morning, and perhaps a little bit the night before.  Since we had a "rehearsal" of our trip in December, we already knew basically what we needed to do and what we needed to pack.  We have since discovered that we have forgotten a couple things, but mostly I think we did very well.  We tried to go to sleep a little early, and maybe we succeeded a little bit, but I think all four of us were a bit keyed up about the big day, and had to wind down before really being able to sleep.

It wasn't too much later that the alarm rang:  3:30 to be exact.  Our dear friend Diana was going to arrive at 4:00 to drive us to the airport, and we did an awesome job, if I do say so myself, of getting up and dressed and all before she showed up.  The boys were pros:  you'd think we made early morning international flights every month the way they performed!  We got to the airport with no problems, checked in with just a minor delay (one suitcase was overweight so we had to pay a fee on that), went through security, and made it to our gate with time to spare.  Not much time though because even in advance of a 6 am flight, there are a lot of people at the airport and a lot of lines.  They called us to board, and the two tallest Andersons had to bend down considerably to get into the teeny tiny airplane that was going to get us to Houston.  The plane was entirely full, and we were in the last two rows.  Jerry was in the row in front of the boys and I, Mario was on the left side of the aisle where there is only one seat, and I was with Erik on the right side of the aisle.  We tried to get one boy in a row with one parent, but didn't get any takers on shifting seats.  Mario did really great though -- I am extremely proud of how well he did sitting by himself.  I wasn't wearing a watch, but I think we were a little late taking off as our plane needed to be de-iced, but we managed to get off the ground and pointed in the right direction before too long.  The flight was a little bumpy, but nothing that an airsick bag couldn't take care of.  Note to self:  get hold of some dramamine for the return flight.  This came as a big surprise  to us, and it was a blessing that the two people that were sitting next to each other were sitting next to each other.  Nuff said:  what happens on the airplane stays on the airplane.

We made it to Houston, and seriously hoofed it to get to our connecting gate.  It is a very large airport, and moving from one terminal to another takes a while, even with the zippy little tram that the boys really enjoyed.  We made it to our gate, and there are no passengers there, just a couple airline employees at the counter.  My stomach sunk an inch, before one of them looked up and said, "Oh, you must be the Anderson family.  We have been waiting for you."  God bless you United Airlines.  They had been monitoring our earlier flight and knew what time we landed and knew that we'd be moving fast to get there.  What great service!  We got on a much larger airplane and got seats so that one boy could sit with one parent, and were all set.  Again, it is a very good thing that airplanes come equipped with airsick bags.  Note to self:  make sure about that dramamine.  And nothing to drink on the plane not even a little water unless absolutely necessary.  The flight was much rougher than when Jerry and I flew in August.  It was a wild takeoff, and apparently we circled around the airport in Tegus at least a couple times before we touched down.  The brakes are hard on, because it is a short runway, but I think the landing was even rougher than last time.  Anyway, we made it and were very happy to be on the ground.  I think there was some serious happy-dancing going on on the walk into the terminal.

We were the last ones off the plane, I am pretty sure, and therefore the last people to go through immigration.  We learned that if there is a bathroom emergency, especially involving young children, and if there are no bathrooms in the area before you go through immigration, you can actually leave your passports with the immigration official and go through temporarily to the bathroom, then return and go through officially and get your passports.  Just a tip for other families!

Yay, all our luggage made it, and we found Ileana, our agency's in-country representative, as soon as we made it through the glass doors into the main part of the airport.  It was about 1:15 at this point, I think, and Ileana said she had good news:  we were scheduled to sign the adoption decree the very next morning at 11:00, which means that we need to go meet our son in about 45 minutes.  Wow!!  Seriously?  Wow!!  But, what does a hungry family do when they need food in a hurry?  McDonald's drive through!  Hysterical that we are in Honduras less than two hours and already we are having fast food.  We were thinking that we'd have a fast food treat maybe once a week, but given that we have already encountered Ronald McDonald, we might have to up that average.  Especially when they let you pick the toy for your happy meal!  Better than at home!  So we grabbed the food and made it back to our hotel to check in and get our bags into our apartment.  Then we grabbed the things we were going to give the foster mother, and drove over to Casitas Kennedy, where we would meet our son and his foster mother, and sign the temporary custody papers.  We were a little late, but I guess we were already on Honduran time.  Our little one was very shy, and apparently missed his nap too, which doesn't make for a great first encounter.  He had grown so much taller too!  We came back to our hotel to play and see what would happen.  After just a few minutes of shyness, he perked right up and played with us very well.  They wanted to give it a little test and see what would happen if the foster mother walked out without him knowing.  Well, he was just fine until he realized that she wasn't there.  Then he started running around the apartment looking for her and crying.  He hadn't seen which way she had left so he didn't know where she had gone.  We put on our A-game trying to play and distract him, but it was not working.  We gave it a little while, and then decided it would be better for him to spend the night with his foster mother, and we'd see him in the morning for the signing of the adoption decree.  This is really what we had thought would be best anyway, to have a transition rather than a dive into deep water, given his young age and the fact that he hadn't seen us in five months.  We were sure he had forgotten us completely.  Maybe he remembered us a little bit, as he warmed up and started playing with us so quickly, but again, that was when he could keep his eye on his foster mother the whole time.

So they left, we had a little bit for dinner, and got the boys into bed without much delay.  All in all, it was a great first day.  We knew getting into this that it was going to be a challenging time, and indeed we still believe that.  It is such a comfort knowing we are in God's hands.  There is no way we could do even a fraction of it without Him.

Soon and very soon

We are leaving in a few days to start our new adventure as a family of five.  So thrilled it is nearly here after over three years of wait.

We have decided that we are going to have "radio silence" until we are all home.  I know many of you want to follow all the details as they happen.  I was the same way for other families that have proceeded us.  But for reasons of security, we are just going to be laying very low.  I will draft everything that we will do, and as soon as we are all back home, I will hit the publish button, and you can read to your heart's content.  All the posts will be there in the archive.

For now, I would just ask for your prayers for our health and safety, that the process goes smoothly, that the transition goes smoothly, that we live in the moment, and that we can get home soon and very soon as a family of five.

Thank you so much dear friends.  Signing off!

It's happening!!!!!

What a 24 hours this has been!!!  After my long and miserable post of yesterday, I learned that a strike was ongoing as well.  Just to make my mood even a little more dark.  But today has brought good news!!  I literally could not believe it when we learned it and questioned it again and again, but it is true:  our attorney has our sentancia (adoption decree) in her hand.  The judge signed!!  And the strike is over!!  We are good to go!  And to make things even sweeter, I also learned today that the adoption tax credit was made permanent!!

Praise the mighty hand of God!!!

Thank you all who have prayed for us to get us to this point.  You have lifted me up, and I appreciate it like I can't express.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Gotta go pack!!  Yahoo!!!

avoidance

I have been avoiding this blog.

I am a writer.  I love to write.  Even though I think I am a good speaker too, there is just something so tremendous about how with writing one can take a few seconds, or minutes, to come up with just the right word, the right phrase, to exactly convey what is meant.  I can be careful and deliberate and yet the reader doesn't have to sit and wait while I figure out how to express myself.  There is the delete button too, which I consider to be simply wonderful.  It is the ultimate do-over.  Type out a word or phrase, or even entire paragraph, and it's not exactly what I want?  Easy to solve:  just hit "delete" and walk on.  Writing is really great.

Yet there are times when even writing doesn't work.  When I can't even begin to bring myself to the keyboard.  When I have only a word, or a short phrase, and if I utter it, it doesn't capture at all what I meant to communicate.  When whatever I write has more a chance of being misunderstood that not.

That's how I have felt lately.

I tend to be a pretty cheerful person, pretty upbeat and optimistic.  I usually see the glass half-full or so.  I look for the silver lining.  The lesson.  Maybe some people think that kind of outlook is Pollyannish, but I don't close my eyes to the hard stuff.  I know there is water missing from the glass.  I know that for there to be a silver lining, there has to be a cloud too.  I just am a hopeful person and look for the good outcome.

I also don't want to use this blog as a place to blow off hot air needlessly.  Don't get me wrong, there are definitely lots of times when I'm full of complaints, and I certainly express more of them than I would like, but I seriously work hard to delete them out of my mind as soon as they appear and not give them the light of day.  It doesn't do me any good to mouth off, and it doesn't do anybody else any good either to have to put up with me doing so.

But I do want to try to convey what is going on.

The short answer is that we are still waiting news to travel.  We went from a status of being extremely-excited-and-over-the-moon-happy-because-it-could-be-any-day-now to they.are.on.Christmas. holiday.for.nearly.three.weeks.and.so.we.have.to.wait.some.more.  At present, I think we are technically back in that any-day-now status. Yet somehow, it just doesn't feel like that. Maybe it is my psyche's self-preservation mode, I don't know. Maybe a person just can't remain on high alert for all that long.  We were flying high and singing a joyful tune at the thought of spending our son's second birthday with him and celebrating Christmas as a family of five.  Just so happy.  And then when we learned that things were not going to happen like we thought they would, it was just so excruciatingly painful.  Deflating.  Harsh.  As if all the air had left the room.  We have picked ourselves up as best we can, but things just feel different right now.  Again, maybe this is self-preservation.  But I can't seem to shake the feeling that he has slipped from our grasp.  As far as I know, this is unfounded.  We have not been told anything that would lead us to that conclusion.  But it is still the nightmare in my head.

As usual, I am spending much time in prayer and in meditating on God's Word.  I am hoping we will hear joyful news, and I will remain a person of hope.  However, should the nightmare come to pass, I do know that no matter what does happen, God will continue to hold us and be our true silver lining.

Two years old

Sweet little boy,
Do you know today is your birthday?  I am sad that we are not there with you.  I can hardly believe we are not there.  We had planned on being there, but we are not.  I had really hoped we could have a nice birthday party with you today:  cake and ice cream, presents, singing the birthday song, the whole bit.  It just hurts that we are not there, but I am offering my suffering to God so that he can bring something beautiful out of it.  I pray that God is whispering in your ear today how special you are and how much you are loved.
I love you so much,
Your mommy

Still waiting

Has it seriously been almost three weeks since I last blogged?

I had assumed that the next time I got on here I would be able to say that we had received word to travel to sign our adoption decree.  But, we haven't received word yet, and so we are still waiting.

It is not easy, this waiting thing, but I am sustained by God and am, for the most part, peaceful about our circumstances.  I'm spending a lot of time in prayer and in meditating on Scripture.  I know with everything that is in me that God brings all things to the good.  I know with everything that is in me that God is in control.  I know with everything in me that God is love.  We're going through some real refining around here, and refining is not easy, but we know that God's hand is on it.  Events take us by surprise, but they don't take Him by surprise.  He knows what He is about.  He sees the full picture.  He is perfect.  I don't know what all God is up to, but I do know that I trust Him.

If I sound like I am repetitive here, it is probably because I am.  I am reminding myself of these facts, and have been doing so again and again.  Even though I already know these things, I am at the same point learning them to a deeper degree.  Through the experience of this prolonged wait until we can be reunited with our little son, God is drawing me closer to Himself, which is definitely where I want to be.  Poor human that I am, it is not always an easy journey getting there, but I have to remember that most of the battle is coming from me.  I have been grasping tightly to things that aren't God, and it has taken some effort to get my fingers loosened from the wrong things and to get them moved to God Himself and His perfect will.