Vigorous

It has been seriously hard to find time to write on this blog.  With the boys being out of school for the summer (and all the fun that involves) and me taking two courses (and all the work that involves), there is much less time to be able to devote to writing.  I am not complaining whatsoever -- I love having more time with the boys: going places with them, being more relaxed and kicking back at home, reading, doing crafts, and I also am enjoying both of my courses very much.  But the long and short of it is that there is less free-time available to think through a post and then actually to write it.

Nothing new to share on the adoption front, not directly that is, but I did want to share a sweet story of God's faithfulness.  As I mentioned before, I was on the team that hosted the most recent women's ACTS retreat at our parish.  As part of the preparation period, we were each given a word.  The leadership team  had selected words from the Mass readings for the Sunday that our retreat would end.  They put them in a bowl, prayed over them, and we each picked a word.  When I have done this in the past, I have really felt that the Holy Spirit has spoken to be through the word that I chose, words such as "humility,"  "surrender," "tenderness," "patience," (I think I got that one twice actually!!).  Words I really needed to pay attention to at that time and that have had special meaning for me.  So this time I was really looking forward to picking my word!  And what did I get?  "Vigorous."

Huh?

Huh?

Like Miracle Gro, or something?

I really did not know what to think of that word.

Ok, I said to myself, I guess I'll be healthy during team formation!!  I can lift things and move things around with all my vigorous strength!  Maybe I'll be very productive at the tasks I am called to do.  It's not a bad word.  It's good to be vigorous!  If given the choice, would I rather be vigorous or not, I can't think of any reason why I would not want to be vigorous.  Ok then.  Vigorous.

Just kinda....

Odd.

I just didn't feel like it had any special meaning for me, at least it didn't at the time that I selected it.  Well, that's still ok, maybe something will come to me later.  It will make sense at some point during team formation or at some point on the retreat.  I took it to prayer at various points and then just let it go, satisfied that it would certainly come to me later.

At no point during team formation did I get any kind of epiphany about "vigorous."  Formation was fine -- just no understanding of my word.

At no point during the retreat did I get any glimpse of an epiphany about "vigorous."  The retreat was wonderful -- just no understanding of my word.

Nothing at all.

Until we got back to our parish.  I was on schedule to be the cantor for the 11:00 Mass, which is the Mass that the team and retreatants and families all attend together.  Normally, and I mean every Mass when I am the cantor or even in the choir, I will review the music about a week in advance and at various times during the week to prepare as well as I can.  Just because of busyness of having the boys home, and my coursework, and preparing for the retreat, yada yada yada, I did not look at the music at all, and I mean at all, until twenty minutes before Mass was scheduled to begin.  So I went in the back with our music director and pulled out the music.  We looked at the processional hymn, the offertory hymn, the communion hymn, the recessional hymn, the various pieces of service music, and it is all familiar.  Then we look at the psalm.

And when I got to the third verse, I just about lost it.

Here's the psalm I practiced real quick and then sang, solo, in front of the entire congregation.

R. (cf. 2a) Lord, it is good to give thanks to you.
It is good to give thanks to the LORD,
to sing praise to your name, Most High,
To proclaim your kindness at dawn
and your faithfulness throughout the night.
R. Lord, it is good to give thanks to you.
The just one shall flourish like the palm tree,
like a cedar of Lebanon shall he grow.
They that are planted in the house of the LORD
shall flourish in the courts of our God.
R. Lord, it is good to give thanks to you.
They shall bear fruit even in old age;
vigorous and sturdy shall they be,
Declaring how just is the LORD,
my rock, in whom there is no wrong.
R. Lord, it is good to give thanks to you.

Do you see "vigorous" in there?

Man oh man.

That God!

Only God could have done that.

Granted, I'm not Sarah or Elizabeth, but I am much more of an old mother than I am a young one.  And even though my children (the ones in our home and the ones we anticipate) are not actually fruit of my own body, they are my fruit in every other way.  Getting that word "vigorous" was such a beautiful wink from God that He will continue to be faithful to us as we grow our family in His sight.  It felt so comforting and so confirming that we are on the right path pursuing number 3 and number 4, and that God will continue to be right with us.

I feel vigorous!!!